Having a Sibling

It’s my brother’s 19th birthday tomorrow and to me he still seems like a kid. Having a sibling has to be one of the most obscure ways to get a very unique set of experiences. The rapid transitions between love and hate and back again, the feelings of stress and protectiveness, and the need to adapt to a rapidly changing person you thought you knew so well. With every year I grow further yet closer to my brother. Paradoxically, our differences and contrasting attributes become more defined yet the memories and experiences we share become strengthened.

I remember one transition in our relationship that didn’t teach me anything valuable but that I loved to experience. (I guess that’s family: getting pleasure from the things you witness without having to gain or learn anything specifically). I was always very protective of my brother. In crowded places I would keep have a mind on him. In my memory, he was never lost, left awake and alone, or left uncared for while sick without our parents.

There is just one instance of failure that still gets to me. One day at school – my brother was in a few grades lower than I was at the same school – he ran up to me at recess, very upset and teary-eyed, wanting me to look for a toy. I didn’t help him and I went back to my friends. I’m still ashamed of that.

But then the transition occurred that, I’m sure, every big sibling witnesses in their younger sibling. He began to prove that he was becoming more capable, independent, and with a stinger sense of self. It happened gradually but I was conscious of it. I realized I didn’t have to keep an eye on him, care for him, or worry about him. Trust started to develop and we became peers. Today he is an adult and although I still see him as a kid, it is a strong, confident, capable kid.